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Today I rode the bus to sit and think
Of when you and I
Used to laugh and cry every morning.
I am mourning your move
And I yearn four our next drive.
::Created on July 12, 2005 at 5 PM::
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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The sound of babies and children laughing is the greatest sound in the world.
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It only smells if you inhale.
There is only taste if I lick your lips.
It is my touch when you feel nothing.
It is only love if you feel hate.
::Created on Thursday, June 30, 2005 at 9.25 PM::
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, June 30th, 2005
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There is sand in my ears
From when you drowned me
In all of my fears.
::Created on Thursday, June 30, 2005::
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, June 18th, 2005
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I don't know why you're still with me.
I'm not that amazing.
I'm not so special,
Not so kind.
I'm not so genuine,
I've spoken many a lie.
Even the lies rewind into
Why I'm so ordinary,
Yet you still love me.
Though mad,
You care and that is all that is there.
And that is all that really matters.
I don't know why you're still with me.
I don't know why I'm still your mate.
I still don't know why you let me sleep next to you every night and day.
Because we both know I have a habit of sleeping far too late
Next to the warmth of your body.
Next to the warmth of your body, I can feel your heart beat.
And I can feel you teetering on the edge of our bed
Trying not to fall off because you don't want to move and awaken me.
::Created on Saturday, June 18, 2005 at 4 AM::
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I fear it time for bed.
I fear it time for sleep.
I fear many things and this I fear--
I fear it time to weep.
::Created on Friday, June 10, 2005::
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It is awkward kissing with lemonade gum in your hand.
You wanted to hug me instead.
And so, I put my fingers in my mouth and I retrieved the gum.
The source of awkward removed.
It is awkward kissing with lemonade gum in your hand.
You lifted my shirt and I felt my body tingle.
It felt nice to have both of your hands on my skin.
::Created on Sunday, May 29, 2005::
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It's hard to tell when you're country is going to shit
When you're covered in shit yourself.
::Created on Wednesday, May 25, 2005::
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Summer.
What do you hold
Within your deathly days?
::Created on Sunday, May 22, 2005::
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I saw a Ferrari today.
I thought of your absence of wealth.
::Created on Monday, May 23, 2005::
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There is no originality anymore and everything has been repeated.
You are ordinary and there is nothing special about you.
Everything special about you is that you're ordinary.
::Created on Friday, May 13, 2005 at 8.02 PM::
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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I
In one day, winter turned to spring.
The sun set as our love rose.
Together, we slept in each other's arms.
Together, we awoke to a returned winter
As the unending snow fell
And as I fell from the bed.
::Created on February 16, 2005::
II
The snow melting
And the melting ice falling as tears
On to your face.
I can see the sun set in your eyes,
And I can see the moon shine on the droplets drying on your face.
I can see that the seasons are changing.
You are changing from summer love to autumn heartbreak.
::Created on February 28, 2005::
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Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
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A life served as a sentence.
A life served as a slave.
Shackles broken free,
From this life I do flee.
In hopes of better,
I write this letter:
Dearest Mother,
Unsure if I love her
Yet grateful for her love in return.
I feel as if I owe
All of my woe
To that which has made me whole.
It is you that I have known
All of this life.
And it is you for which I shall moan.
It is you I fear hurting,
It is you, my reason for lurking.
Dearest Father,
For you I do not bother.
But this I shall say:
You I shall find someday.
And when I do
I know not what it is I will do.
To cry and run in the other direction
Or to cry and to run in reflection
Of all that could have been
But never will be seen.
If I could look you in the eyes,
Eyes I know not if they resemble mine,
All seen would be hundreds of cries, horrors, lies.
You are my muse,
The one I use
For most of the reasons for a want of not living.
Dearest Michael,
The animosity thrown at me for countless things I've done wrong
Has been unnecessary and long.
I have spent more than two years in darkness,
Alone in my room,
The slam of my door the closing of my tomb.
My posessions taken for months unending,
Alone I wept, these horrors bending
My mind into a twisted web of madness.
Alone in sadness, I have opened the tomb
And I shall awake alive from depths I did not know I have ever been in.
I am shaking as I write this,
I am leaving. You all deny this.
You say that I shall never leave and forever remain
A prisoner, a pawn, a son undone.
::Created on Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 5:30 PM and finished upon my death::
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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You can see all around you
But you cannot even see that I want you.
If you can, then it is that you do not want me.
If it is that you do not want me,
Then it is that that shall haunt me.
::Created on December 17, 2004 at 3 PM::
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I have never known
That days change so slowly.
And I have never known
That life is so holy.
Sent from on high
We must do what we must.
Sent from nowhere,
We only are dust.
::Created on Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 5:17 PM::
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The days I do count
Until I see you.
The days I wait for
Shall soon come true.
The days I never thought
When the sun would rise
Will soon come true
And be my demise.
::Created on Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 5:13 PM::
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Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
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A constant stream
Of wanting you
Never runs dry
It only pours down
Like the downpour
We've both drowned in.
::Created on September 9, 2004 at 1.29 PM::
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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I dropped my iced tea today.
It fell to the floor with a crash.
I thought it was something else
And so, I looked above me
To find all the lights intact and unexploded.
My heart had exploded
Because you walked away.
But it was only for a moment.
You soon returned and the spilled
And broken iced tea was then made whole
And my exploded heart brought back together.
Yet you and I will never be together,
Let alone be brought back together
Just like my heart.
::Created on November 15, 2004 at 1.25 PM::
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Friday, November 12th, 2004
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I can hear the squeak
And the wisp
Of the wind on your feet
As you step upon my back
Like you always have,
Only now, you crush
My entire body and I am destroyed.
::Created on October 12, 2004::
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 12th, 2004
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I can see you
Not staring back at me.
I can feel you
You will never touch me.
I can hear you
Though you never speak to me.
You are everywhere and you are everything.
You are all I've ever wanted and all I'll never have.
You are nothing to me anymore
Though I really want you to be.
I'm not so sure
If I sense any tension.
I'm not so sure
If you want my attention.
And I don't know why
I can't learn my lesson.
But I do know
That all you'll write is XO.
XO
XO
X X X X O O O O
O I want you.
::Created on October 12, 2004::
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